In Pursuit of Contentment pt 3

"I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hunger, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through him whjo gives me strength". Philippians 4:11 & 12


I cannot claim to be far enough along on my journey to contentment to know what it is all about. I can't tell you how it feels to be at peace with life regardless of circumstance. I have not yet experienced the freedom that comes with a fully surrendered heart, mind and life. I am not yet in a place of identifying fully with the apostle Paul. I have so much to learn and so far to go.

However, I do not have as far to go as I did when I first set out. I know that God has been working in my heart to bring about the attitude and lifestyle he desires from me as his child. He has taught me much. And though I am still trying to understand what contentment is, I do believe God has taught me two things that contentment is not:

1. Contentment is not an emotion. So many times, I find myself thinking that if I could just feel content, then it would be so much easier to rest in God. I would be able to rely on my feelings to get me through when things are not going the way I would like them to. I would feel peaceful and hopeful regardless of the ways things look. Well, if that were the case, then everyone would desire to learn to be content. But we do not. Those of us who have tried to walk this path before know that it is fraught with unpleasant emotions and unfilfilled desires. There is nothing glamorous or even easy about learning to be content. Contentment runs deeper than feeling. It is a process that must be learned and endured. And as far as I can tell, there is one way to learn: by going through the very trials, temptations, losses and circumstances that will likely cause us to feel discontent and restless. I know that this is probably an unwelcome insight, one that you would have been happier never having known. But if we are sincere in our desire to be content with the life we have been given, seeking nothing above Christ, we will accept it.

I am certain that when Paul came to write about learning contentment, he had not learned it through the advice of others or by watching someone else go through it. His learning to be content being hungry means that he would have had to go hungry. This is what leads me to say that contentment is not an emotion. Surely Paul did not feel good about being hungry or going without. Likely, his heart and physical body were aching with desire to be provided for, nurtured and taken care of. Godly desires to have his needs met. Yet, at times, desires that went unfulfilled. I look to Paul as my example on this journey. If I were hungry, I would question God's love and provision. If I was in lack, I would wonder why my heavenly Father was not following through with the promises his Word makes to me. But Paul, by the grace of God, was able to look past what God did not seem to be doing to who God is. He is sufficient for every need. He is present in every heartache. He is in control of the most dire circumstance. He is allowing us to suffer that we might be transformed more and more into his likeness. That was what Paul fixed his eyes upon and it is the truth that got him through. As he looked to Jesus, he was strengthened to endure whatever came his way. Not because it felt good, but because he chose to believe and put his trust in the character of God. Even when it hurt.

2. Contentment is not a stop on the way to where I am going. I can't recall how many times I have thought that being content with where I am was a temporary state of being until God decided to step in and change my circumstance. I thought that if I could only learn to be content with little money or unfulfilled longings, then I would have learned the lesson and God would change everything. I would end up getting what I wanted. I have come to realize, however, that if I am trying to be content only to speed along the process of God moving me to a better place in life, it is neither genuine nor lasting. When put to the test, it does not hold up. Right below the surface of my "contentment" lies the real state of my heart. I end up going back and forth between trusting God and choosing to remain in him and growing angry with him for not just answering my prayers in the first place.

True contentment is not based on what might happen. I must choose to learn contentment even if the thing I am struggling with never changes. If I am trying to be content just to pass the time and prevent myself from going crazy until God answers my prayer, I am placing my trust not in God himself but in what he is going to do for me. What then happens to my faith should God decide not to grant a certain request or work things out the way I think he should? It gets shaken. I begin to doubt and worry. I grow anxious and try to make things happen on my own because I don't trust God to take care of me. I have spent so much time focusing on what God is going to do that I have not taken time enough to focus on who he is and my foundation has been built upon the sand.

If, on the other hand, I choose to see contentment as a lasting state, I will come to know the peace and rest of God. Even if circumstances never change and I must live with something I did not choose, I will know that I have gained more than I could ever have asked for just because I know Jesus.